People’s behavior and attitude reflects them not you

By Bernice Bitrus

Have you ever been in a position where you’re confused about how a person treated you or responded to something you had to say? Or maybe didn’t respond to what you had to say, perhaps because you were considered undeserving of any response? You know that feeling when you can confidently affirm that a person is being hostile to you for no just cause? Well I know the feeling.

A lot of time that unnecessary hostility is as a result of personal issues, not necessarily because of anything you’ve done or not done.

There’s a term for this, it’s called psychological projection. A situation where people accuse others of having the same behaviors and feelings they themselves were demonstrating or experiencing.

People will project their sadness, madness, hatred, fears and toxicity towards you whether you deserve it or not. It is highly possible that some people actually deserve hostility, but it is also highly possible to refuse to be hostile to them regardless of how they may deserve it.

People’s behavior and attitude reflects them not you. When people project toxicity in any form towards you, you shouldn’t beat yourself up, that’s on them not on you. So let them be them and you be you.

You can attempt to see things differently and not beat yourself up thinking you did something wrong when in fact you’re only a victim of someone else’s self esteem issues.

A wealthy man like Dangote in spite of his wealth is not loved by everyone. There are people who hate his gut simply because they consider themselves deserving of his money than he is. Sure, there are people like that. Some of them you’d be surprised are your closest friends and family.

Furthermore, going by the details of Bible stories and occurrences, Jesus Christ was the kindest man to walk this earth, I mean all He did was good right, but he was crucified. This alone is enough to clarify the point of this matter.

There’s always going to be strife. However, make it your duty to live in peace and be at peace. You don’t have to return the same energy. When hatred is projected towards you, you can choose to ignore, because they probably don’t actually hate you it’s just who they are and what they’re experiencing.

Some people are actually just misomaniac by default; dragging others along with them on their roller coaster of feelings. If you experience bitterness from anyone, don’t blame yourself for it unless you were “first to do”.

And if you are guilty of this, you can change starting with doing some inner search, I mean some deep soul searching. It’s absolutely unfair that people have to live their lives through hurt and uncertainties because of someone else’s projections of their issues towards them.

Stay positive.